Timing is vital for Effective Communication.

[What I've picked up from listening to Dr Kate Roberts and her 3 C's of Couple hood]

We all live busy lives which are full of transitions and with technology so prevalent it's inevitable that these transitions begin to overlap with our relationships. The problem is learning to pick our battles, know when to hold and when to fold.

Essentially we need to resist the urge to start a discussion that we know will require more time and attention than we both can give at that given moment.

We need to work our communication around our transitions. Leave it till we have adequate time to talk about the issue. If we don't, we end up opening a door that has no resolution and we begin to brood and harbor resentment. By the time we're both ready to talk, one of us will already be jacked with emotion. 

Same thing goes for texting. If it's a big issue don't text. Agree to set some time apart for later that day. The problem is text can so easily be misinterpreted! If the issue really is important then you'd want to see your spouse face to face. Being able to see each others emotions is so important. There will be times when you won't be able to comprehended how your spouse is feeling until you see it physically.

Texting has it's place in this world but it's not in the realm of Effective Communication. It will never convey the tone and emotion that the spoken word will. Instead it will rob you of such important details that could be the make or break of a relationship.

Conflict is Inevitable

Conflict is inevitable but at the same time, it's also the richest source of growth that a relationship can have.

Healthy conflict brings people together to solve a problem whereas bad conflict is an arena of accusations and hurt. You're wrong! If only you stopped doing this! You always hurt me! etc.